Come closer, look into my mind, 2017
Degree Show piece, exhibited in Epilogue, Sheffield Hallam University’s final Creative Art Practice degree show at Sheffield Institute of Arts, June 2017.
Lightbox piece made from 100cm acrylic paint and PVA glue cone print using a 45cm cone, on light diffusion acrylic, mounted behind a CNC cut studio wall structure, with 3x 90cm strip lights behind (within double skin wall).
Accompanying Degree Show Catalogue Statement:
A feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something
My personal fear is death; the unanswered questions and uncertainty that surrounds it.
As these thoughts are hidden in my mind I want my work to reflect this too, so my work at first appears as an image until you get closer and then text appears. I am interested in creating both image and text in my work, making a piece that hovers between the two.
I have developed my own method of printing. I carve text into a polystyrene cone and print it by rolling the cone in a circular motion, replicating the thoughts swirling around in my mind. I believe the image I have created is both ambiguous, yet hints at possibilities. Through my process of printing, I realised it helped me alleviate my fears, as I am physically pushing them all away.
I use song lyrics that resonate with my feelings of fear. In so doing, I acknowledge my fears through the words and my inner thoughts are impressed into the print. The lyrics I chose are a form of therapy for me, where I find my own personal contentment to ease my fears.
The illegibility of the text is a depiction of these overwhelming thoughts that plague my mind; not being able to fully read the text, embodies the feelings of uncertainty. In this piece, I enlighten the text as I want the viewer to experience my inner frustration and read into my mind.
Text inside the print:
As the darkness falls over the light
There goes the day
And this fear that comes to the top of my mind won’t go away
All that I want is to wake up fine
To tell me that I’m alright, that I ain’t gonna die,
life is very strange
People come and people go,
where do they go?
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life,
because one of these days, the clocks will stop and time won’t mean a thing,
the ground will drop out from beneath your feet
and your heart will stop and play its final beat,
It’s a shame we have to die, No one’s getting out of here alive
It’s a shame we have to disappear
you don’t know my mind
These dark necessities are part of my design
The light that was in my eyes has gone
Once you’ve gone you can never go back
I will not be here, nor there, not anywhere,
Avoid the void,
but I must not fear, in time it will be a shadow in my past,
But I will fear the night again
Now, I’ve just got to go
I’m just going
Take my words and turn them into sounds that will survive
Everlong is neverlong,
it all has to come to an end,
All our times have come
Here but now they’re gone
and what will happen to my mind when it does?
Will I be aware that I’ve closed my eyes for one last time,
will this blur of darkness be my everlong?
I was me but now, I’ve gone –
I think of that moment and darkness grows,
It takes over my mind,
these thoughts are too often,
Life it seems to fade away
Drifting further everyday
we’re all battling fear nothing else matters when this takes over,
I don’t know why we’re here
Oh my, too deep, please stop thinking
but fear will lose, it has to go,
so for now, I sit in silence.
All images taken by myself.